Relationship Resource

Yes I did respond but very light and casual. it was responding to the alert of the motorcycle recall - I found that very odd, it sounded like she was trying to reach out to me with something so mundane. Still not sure if I should initiate a text or email and what to say....

Thank you for responding, it is so important for me right now.

So what precipitated the event was that I had just woken up and found my wife watching TV in bed I said good morning went to the bathroom came back and I didn't want to disturb her as she had the headphones on so as not to bother me with the sound. I lay back down and waited till she finished,  I heard her put the headphones down she lay there for a bit I turned around to face her and she I guess waited for me to hug her? but instead she immediately got up and said " you never hug me " I said I always hug you and am very affectionate to you and gave her some examples of when I do. She got very defensive and that upset me, now understand that I have not gotten upset with her since we have been back together although she has given me reasons to be.

She proceeded to berate me and started to curse badly something I found to be so disrespectful, I was shocked to hear what was coming out of her mouth. In our past when we argued that was one of the peeves I had that she would curse at me to hurt my feeling knowing how much I disliked being curse at. But to hear it after what and how far we have gotten in our relationship it was really bad. Yes I was upset and raised my voice for the first time since being together.

She asked me to lower my voice and I did but then she responded with " thats right shut your f'n mouth and zip it,  now go f yourself " I was like wow. So at that point I just basically just ignored her, trying to diffuse the heated situation. After some time she asked me to leave. I said this was impossible I have no place to go. She stood her ground.

I know I left out some other details but one that sticks out was that her cousin had came in from Europe with the intention of living with my wife not knowing that my wife and I were back and living together. Now this cousin had the nerve to leave her 2yr and 4 month old daughters with her American husband and her Albanian mother to watch over so she can come to NY and find a job where my wife works in the UN.. Sought of like in a mission, they get temp jobs with the hopes of getting something permanent. I know this weighed heavy on my wife because we discussed the situation and saw her upset that she couldn't help her.

I noticed that my wife was kind of being pressured from her family who lives in Boston plus her daughter from a previous marriage pressuring her about me ( she was against her mother being involved with me again only because she wanted her mom only for her on her beckon call ( that's what my wife told me ) I'm sorry I am trying to put it all in but the pressure was there never the less.. I saw the pressure but maintained an understanding and supportive attitude. I have always supported my wife's decisions when it came to her family. ( maybe it was my downfall? ) not sure....

All I know that once her cousin arrived all things started to change. I remember one night her cousin asked her out for a drink ( my wife invited me but I declined so that she could spend some alone time with her, just me being understanding ) When my wife got back she told me the truth or one of the main reasons why she ( her cousin ) came to NY.  I was shocked to hear that she ( cousin ) was tired of her husband ( kids father ) and needed a rest, a break??( she left 2 babies there??!! )  that all they did was argue, sometimes when he was nice she was good and when it wasn't so nice she hated him. That was upsetting to say the least but it is what it is.  I was not the only who was upset over her situation and the pressure she was putting on my wife.  I do remember that night telling my wife that thank God we are very happy together and know how to compliment each other,  she then hugged and kissed me and said how much she loved me. This is why I am having trouble understanding why this happened to us. I don't want to say that her cousin, family and daughter influenced her but my wife is at times vulnerable when it comes to appearances and opinions, Very much so....

What I meant when I said she made me move out of my apartment, she knew how much I sacrificed to get that apartment when we had first broken up. I lost everything, my job, pension, my credit went down the tubes and literarily was in the street. I worked my self up again, I went to therapy, got in shape changed my whole life around. New attitude but the main, main reason I was able to do all this was with the help of Mr. Royce Adams, you see I was not on the forum,  I worked directly with Royce on a weekly basis - he is directly responsible for my whole outlook and changes I made in life. I don't think I would ever meet someone like that man, may he rest in peace. He gave me his all and for that I am truly grateful. I was able to to win back my wife's love and maintained it throughout until this episode.

Please believe me when I tell you this was the greatest time of our lives together, ever. She would constantly tell me so. I know that she has to be having second thoughts about her hasty move and I am hoping that she in time would like to be with me once again - as you can see I still do love her and am willing to forgive her and not hold it against her. I am not getting in touch with her but as I stated in my opening letter to you She did for the first time texted me. Please give me your opinion and share your thoughts. Should I reach out to her or wait?  sorry I am lost here, I feel like I'm starting all over again.